Past year

To be honest, I am so happy the year 2008 is soon all done with. This time last year I had so very different dreams, dreams I thought to be very realistic.. It is rather sad to read the posting I did back then and remember the feelings I had. Sometime between that day and today, for quite some time, I lost the ability to dream, but I am trying my very best to get some new replacing ones to think about. This time I won't publish them, hoping that will help getting them come true..

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. -Bill Vaughn-

Here's hoping I'm not the latter..



ETA: In case anyone is wondering about the ghost postings...
I just noticed that the previous December postings haven't been uploaded at all.. Very odd! Well, now they are there.

Peek in

I am offering you to have a little peek to see how I used to live and where I am living in now. The difference is huge, at least for me..

Firstly, this is the place I rented for me back in 2003 after my then BF had to move to another city after his work. It basically has the smallest ever shower space, due to the fact that I had to use the room for our huge washing machine. That shower is something I don't miss..

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

To be serious, what I do miss, is the nature being so close even though my flat was right next to a very busy road, and the good memories.

Then moving on to the current time, this is where I live now. I have double the space and the house is newer, which basically means that everything is in great shape. Please excuse the signs of a certain party that was held just before I took this video..

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The great things about this flat is that well, it is double the size.. On top of that there is a balcony (too cold and dark to take video of) and I have my own sauna. The dishwasher is so far a no-show, but there is a place for it, if I just manage to save my pennies.. I didn't take any video of the outside, maybe later. It is rather concrete surroundings compared to the previous one. If I don't get used to it, I will just have to find another flat somewhere else.

Now I'm old(er)

Now it is official, I have moved to the next age category, the thirties. And to get a proper start for this, I had to go and get an extra candlestick so that I was able to lid my birthday candles. Hopefully this will be a decade of everything that the twenties didn't offer. As I have now gone older and wiser, well hopefully at least, I think there is a good chance for that.

I had a great party with a bunch of my friends, it was a real tonic for me. At the beginning of the party we were trying our best to get the party balloons ready, but of the life of me I can't understand how anyone is supposed to get these things full. We managed to get 3 brilliant variations of the supposedly similar balloons. My try is the one with a bee waist.
It took quite a lot of energy to get the party organised, but I am so glad I did it. Now I should try and get the flat back to what it was just before the party. I guess the cleaning never ends... *sigh* But since I am so good at avoiding all the annoying things, I decided to have a little baking moment first. Ain't this just the cutest little gingerbread house? I got the small xmas tree as a birthday present from a colleague at the office, and it suits the setting just brilliantly.

Something changed

Understatement alert: This might be somewhat pathetic and miserable posting to read, but I don't have the skill to say it any other way as I feel both pathetic and miserable. At least I finally found the energy and willingness to update my blog. Yes, it is really early in the morning, but that seems to be the story over here. For one reason or another I haven't had a proper good night's sleep for a_really_long_ time.

This year turned out to be the worst I've ever had, especially since mid June. The best phase in my life is now behind for he is gone...

After 10 years of building up dreams and plans of a life together, my BF decided that it ain't worth it. Till the very end I was let to believe that I am loved and the one for him and therefore will be receiving my engagement ring in August (on our holiday trip, that he ended up going alone to) and that there will be a wedding next summer. Then out of the blue, he is gone. I don't know what else to say than I feel cheated, devastated, disappointed, confused and extremely miserable.

I have tried my very best to collect what is left of my self esteem and create new dreams. So I decided that even though I have to do it in a lot smaller scale, I will get a bigger flat as soon as I find a decent one. So now all this:is (almost) behind. There is still a pile of things that haven't found their place, but I can live with that for a while. It took a whole month to get this far and I think I need a little break from all the cleaning and organising. The good thing is that I now have room for a settee and a dining table, the luxuries of finally getting away from the student flat.. The good thing is that this project took a lot of energy and therefore left me at least a little bit less time to sob, there has been more than enough of that, trust me.

To continue the keeping me busy program I decided to have a big ass birthday party. It is the big 3-0 after all. I've sent out the invitations a long time ago already (thankfully, since the moving took a bit more time than I had thought), so all I have left to do is to organise everything else, like the menu. As I only just realised, there is only one week to go and I am now in a panic mode. Hopefully I will get everything done in time and both the guests and the hostess will be enjoying themselves. It seems I have been too successful with the keeping me busy project.

The return

Another trip to Ireland is now behind, unfortunately. I had a great holiday and am already looking forward to the next one. I am so thankful to my hosts, they really made me forget the issues back home. As usual, I took a lot of pictures and therefore made a slide show of some of them.

After returning to my problematic life here in Helsinki, especially since I had such a great time with my friend and her hubby, I needed to cheer me up a little. Amongst loads of other things the ice tea with a good piece of carrot cake kind of did the trick:
Now I have a pile of laundry to go through before I head to my parents for the rest of the holiday. Unless there are some flats to go and check that is, but it seems rather quiet on that front at the moment...

A good start for a holiday

Finally my short summer / autumn holiday is here. I started it well, by going for a late dinner with my friend and then off to a late evening shopping event. That was a mistake, I walked out with the most expensive little skirt I've ever had. Well, at least I still think it is very pretty...

At the moment I should be doing the last minute check up with my bags, as I am flying to Ireland tomorrow morning. But of course, being the total blonde that I am, I just had to do my nails first. So as I am waiting for them to dry I thought I might as well have a little computer time at the same time.

I've nothing special planned for the trip, but I think we will have a weekend in Kerry and then rest of the time around Dublin. Let's see, I am open to all good ideas. I am just happy to finally have a short break from everything...

I will return in a weeks time, hopefully with some good photos and experiences.